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Sports Writer, San Diego Union-Tribune, Monday
Dissappointed Chargers fans
are preaching to the choir
Sunday, October 5, 2008
 MIAMI To the thousands of fans who chose AC, to leave their chairs
empty and not take their Sunday afternoon sauna in Dolphins Stadium, we
salute your cool judgment. For the Chargers players and coaches who also
declined to attend en masse, we only can ask: What the hell is wrong
with you?
Don't look at me. In this one, I'm the choir and you're Martin Luther
King. It's the Chargers who need preaching to. Either that, or a
pyromaniac should be hired to run through their locker room to light
fires beneath their behinds.
It wasn't just their 17-10 loss to Miami, which won one game a year
ago, and while better, well, how can't it be? It wasn't the heat and
humidity. It wasn't the intermittent rain. It certainly wasn't the crowd
noise. It wasn't the Dolphins' collegiate Wildcat offense, which good
NFL defenses eventually will stuff like a Christmas goose.
It was more about the 2008 San Diego Chargers and who they are or
who they aren't. It was more how they lost or what they didn't do,
that careened their season into a messy 2-3 hole.
They didn't play football.
They haven't been doing all that much of it, really, but this was
ridiculous. It simply was one of their worst overall efforts since the
bad old days, when everyone knew they were awful, so it didn't quite
nestle under the skin like a tick.
But a whole lot more people care now. So a whole lot of people don't
understand. We have a genuine enigma on our hands. I've read hundreds of
mysteries and guessed my share of denouements, but this is a whodunit
put together by Joyce and Faulkner.
I don't get it. If you do, you're Agatha Christie. Congratulations,
but she no longer is with us.
The Chargers got eye-poked Stooges-style by a lesser team, true. It
happens in the NFL. If the better team won every game, New England would
be world champion. It also rings correct that the Chargers had lost two
games they very easily could have won, although they didn't play
particularly well in either defeat or their two wins, for that matter.
But not Sunday. No, everything wilted in the South Florida Turkish
bath. Miami wasn't lucky. Miami took them to the woodshed.
The Dolphins aren't nearly good enough to be good. But they certainly
proved capable of handling a team that could have been arrested for
loitering. Why, the Fish didn't even have to score in the second half.
The Chargers were nothing but chum, chums.
At times they appeared to be wandering about aimlessly. Intensity was
lacking. They couldn't throw. They couldn't run. They couldn't block.
They couldn't get open. They couldn't tackle. They couldn't cover. They
couldn't adjust.
So they were outcoached. This was not Norv Turner's finest 60
minutes. I won't say this entire season has been his finest five hours.
His team, which is not good certainly not close to as advertised, and
that's championship caliber can't continue to start slowly and expect
to be playing in January.
This remains professional football, which means everyone gets paid.
Allowing a team of the Dolphins' caliber to get up 17-3 at the half it
was 15-0 last week in Oakland, when the Chargers managed to dig out is
inexcusable. If nothing else, they are better than this.
The Chargers' offense is far too talented for Philip Rivers and
LaDainian Tomlinson never to find their rhythm, for the receivers to
remain tightly covered all afternoon, for the line's inconsistency in
both the run and passing game.
To get down is one thing. But there was no fire in this hole. It
shouldn't take that long to open your nostrils and take a whiff.
The first thing we have to address is going out early, defensive
end Luis Castillo was saying. We can't continue to put ourselves in
these situations. If we start fast, everything will take care of itself.
It's all highlighted by the holes we're trying to get out of.
It's a test, an obvious challenge. Are we going to do this as a
team?
The defense didn't give up a second-half point, but it still allowed
Miami to rush for 167 yards on the afternoon. It allowed the Dolphins 23
first downs. It let the Fish run the final 5:55 off the clock.
The offense had 19 tries on first downs, seven of them passing plays,
one complete. On them, it gained 35 total yards. Overall, it ran up 202
yards, 60 on the ground. LT, clearly not himself as a runner, receiver
or pass protector, had 35 rushing yards. The Chargers were 3-for-12 on
third downs.
On the first play of the final quarter, they had a fourth-and-1 at
the Dolphins' 1. LT tried and failed. It was the right call, going for
the tie. They didn't block the play.
Nothing they did seemed to work. They appeared hopeless.
Later, Turner tried his best to praise the Dolphins, but, once again,
the Canepa Tabernacle Choir was listening.
Last week, General Manager A.J. Smith said his players know they're
good.
Right now, they're lying to themselves.
REPORT CARD
San Diego Union-Tribune, Monday
Key Play: Chargers
linebacker Matt Wilhelm's stop of Ronnie Brown for a
gain of just two yards on the first play in which the
Dolphins utilized the "Wildcat" offense that produced
four touchdowns against the New England Patriots two
weeks ago. Miami resorted to the direct snap to Brown
four times in its opening drive against the Chargers,
but didn't come close to scoring on any of them.
Key Stat:7:18. The amount of
time the Chargers burned off the clock in taking the
opening kickoff and marching to the Miami 16-yard line,
resulting in a 34-yard field goal by Nate Kaeding. More
notably, it marked the first time this season that the
Chargers actually got off to a good start in a game.
Not in the box score: While
every seat in Dolphin Stadium was filled the night
before with college-football fans for the University of
Miami-Florida State game, there were empty orange seats
by the thousands throughout the house yesterday.
Moreover, the Hurricanes and Seminoles had run roughshod
on each other and the playing surface in a heavy
rainstorm that lasted through much of the night, leaving
the turf thinned and spongy for the Dolphins and
Chargers. The rain is starting to fall again, too.
BY THE NUMBERS
0 Turnovers for
Chargers, the first time they've lost a game without
making a turnover since Nov. 23, 2003
2 Wins for Dolphins,
doubling last year's total
2-3 Chargers' record
for second straight year
3 Times in last four
games LaDainian Tomlinson has averaged fewer than 3
yards per carry
4-0 Chad
Pennington's record vs. Chargers (112.7 rating)
34.5 Average points
scored by Chargers in first four games
36:41 Time of
possession for Dolphins, the most vs. San Diego since
Tennessee had 37:13 on Oct. 3, 2004
50.5 Net punting
average for Mike Scifres, his highest ever for a game
with more than one attempt
 RUMOR
CENTRAL
Rumors from the Web
Laila Ali
Marries Former NFL Star in L.A.
People Magazine, Sunday July 22, 2007
Boxing champ and Dancing with the Stars finalist Laila Ali
wed retired NFL star Curtis Conway in L.A. on Sunday, Ali's rep tells
PEOPLE
exclusively.
Among the 200 guests were Laila's parents, Muhammad Ali and Veronica
Porsche Anderson, along with her sister Hana Ali, who was a bridesmaid.
Conway's twin sons, Kelton and Cameron, 12, were the ringbearers while
his daughter Leilani, 8, stepped in as the flowergirl.
For her big day which Ali planned while competing on Dancing with
the Stars this past spring "I don't want a big poufy dress," Ali
told PEOPLE in April. Instead, the bride, 29, opted for a knockout
champagne-colored silk charmeuse strapless mermaid gown by Amy
Michelson.
"Laila's approach to the wedding was simple but elegant," says wedding
coordinator Juliet Ryan. "There were no lions and tigers and bears. It
was about the love."
The pair met two years ago when Conway hosted a small get together at
his house, which Ali attended with a friend. Conway, 36, then popped the
question last Thanksgiving.
"People think she dominates the relationship," Conway (former
Charger) told PEOPLE in May, "but she's a sweetie pie."
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